There’s something poetic in the fact that the person poised to potentially topple Nigel Farage is an immigrant – albeit from another planet.
Last week, Reform UK’s leader had the mother of all tantrums and resigned his parliamentary seat in Clacton. Farage had become mired in fresh allegations of financial sleaze. What followed was a comical chain of events, the punchline of which was that Count Binface, a fictional character from outer space whose immigration status remains unsettled, is now the main challenger to the country’s most vehement anti-immigration MP.
It is to our collective shame that the state of British politics is so dire that a joker in a flash suit, who constantly makes up stories and is rarely in the country, could represent the good people of Clacton. That’s why I’m backing Count Binface instead. It turns out I’m not the only one. A recent poll by Ipsos-Mori suggests that if Clacton were a national referendum, instead of a byelection, Count Binface would pick up 33% of the vote ahead of Nigel Farage’s 21%.
To describe the situation as absurd does the depths of its dark humour no justice at all: Farage’s decision to force voters to the polls is a misuse of public funds and an abuse of power. This needless byelection will cost British taxpayers at least £275,000. Ever the showman, Farage offered to cover the sum while – presumably – knowing that candidates are banned under election law from footing the bill. The reason: to avoid the risk of corruption.
Moreover, what’s obvious to anyone outside the cult of Reform’s Supreme Leader is that Farage’s resignation is a disgraceful stunt designed to distract from the parliamentary watchdog’s investigation into vast sums in private donations flowing into Farage’s coffers shortly before he stood as an MP. First there’s the £5m “gift” from the foreign-based cryptobillionaire Christopher Harborne, whose funding of the UK right has been covered extensively by the Nerve.
Second is the financial support he received from the aristocrat, convicted fraudster and crypto gambler George Cottrell. He, like Harborne, is a “close friend” of Nigel. These relationships have inevitably raised serious questions about what those with a big financial stake in digital currencies could possibly want from a political party that has promised to pass crypto-friendly laws should it win power. By stepping down, Farage forced the parliamentary standards commissioner, Daniel Greenberg, to stop the investigation into his affairs. Farage, Cottrell and Harborne have denied any wrongdoing.
In summary, Nigel Farage, who became an MP in 2024, is resigning his seat in 2026 in order to fight a bin in the hope of being re-elected to the same seat, only to then be potentially booted out of the Commons
Plot twist! What Farage – in his haste – probably did not see coming was the next development in this political pantomime. It turns out that – according to the snappily named Code of Conduct Procedural Protocol – if Farage wins the Clacton byelection and is re-elected to parliament, the standards investigation will simply resume. If he is then found to have broken parliamentary rules, a second byelection might then be triggered.
In summary, Nigel Farage, who became an MP in 2024, is resigning his seat in 2026 in order to fight a bin in the hope of being re-elected to the same seat, only to be potentially booted out of the Commons to face a second byelection against – oh, I don’t know … Lord Buckethead, or perhaps the ghost of Screaming Lord Sutch? Carry on Clacton really is turning into a classic.
This absolute farce has, however, brought about something many – including me – thought impossible: Britain’s rightwing media overlords may be turning on Nigel Farage. It was Rupert Murdoch’s Sunday Times that broke the story of Farage’s links to Cottrell. Yesterday, its sister paper, the Times – having fluffed Farage’s feathers for more than a decade – published a damning leader column. It rightly pointed out that Reform’s boss had “no credible explanation” for failing to declare huge sums of money, and his argument that his party was a vehicle to sweep away the “self-serving” political class “lacked credibility”, given he had treated “elementary disclosure rules, or basic press scrutiny, as an intolerable intrusion”.
On the same day, over at the Daily Mail, Viscount Rothermere’s serfs were busily headlining Farage’s plummeting approval ratings. A survey by Opinium showed they had fallen sharply to -27, with more than half of voters disapproving of him and only a quarter approving – something that even the Daily Telegraph, which under the editorship of Chris Evans continues to pump out levels of hard-right propaganda that would have made the late Joseph McCarthy proud, was forced to acknowledge.
I asked the former Daily Mail staff columnist Tim Walker how this change in tone might be explained. “The herd is moving,” he said, referencing the words said to Boris Johnson and Keir Starmer by their closest allies just before they were pushed out of office. “Press barons – especially Rothermere – like a winner; Farage increasingly looks like a loser.” He added: “The viscount in particular is nothing if not a realist – and a canny businessman.”
For my part, I’m sticking with Count Binface. Not only has polling proved him to be a national unity candidate, he – unlike Nigel Farage – is the true anti-establishment candidate. Thus far it appears he has refused offers of financial backing for his campaign from at least one millionaire: Labour donor and eco-energy businessman Dale Vince. Instead, The Count has turned to the people of our planet to help crowd-fund his campaign. This unexpected hero has captured the anti-politics mood of a nation fed up with broken promises, dog-whistle politics and a seemingly endless litany of financial scandal. While it’s unlikely he’ll win the Clacton seat, unlike most politicians our intergalactic space warrior looks set to deliver on at least one promise: to cheer up the UK by ensuring that this summer is the silliest of all silly seasons.
Sangita Myska is an award-winning journalist and presenter best known for her political and social commentary. She writes a fortnightly column for the Nerve.